Dirty Words and Baby Bottles
by Lady Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Summary: Bellatrix gets roped into babysitting a young baby Draco and teaches him a few choice words. Rated T for language and the kicking and slapping of Dobby the house elf.


**/ Authors note: I'd like to thank and give full credit to my Rodolphus who played baby Draco and gave me the whole idea for this story based off a Role Play we did on FaceBook. Thank you my Dragon! May you and I keep RPing till the end of time! **

**Please read and review my dearies!**

I glanced at myself in the full length mirror in the bedroom, I looked perfectly gorgeous. My thick dark curls were tamed slightly more than normal, that book Cissy had given me on glamor spells two years ago had come in handy, my usual wild and out of control curls were slick and shinning, tumbling down my back and over my shoulders, a vast contrast to my pale and flawless skin. My make up was perfect, not to much, Rodolphus liked me natural, I just highlighted what was already there, mile long ink black lashes and full pouting lips, a slight touch of black shadow and eyeliner, nothing heavy, just a smoky look to give that air of mystery.

I ran my hands over my subtle curves, the red lacy corset and matching knickers flattered me in all the right places, Rodolphus was in for a good night tonight. I picked up my wand and waved it at the curtains, closing then and lighting the ever lasting candles I had littered around our bedroom, the flames casting a romantic glow around the beautiful decorated room. I smiled to myself and settled myself on the bed, the bottle of red whine sat on the bedside table with two glasses and a single red rose next to them, I'd missed my Stud.

I nibbled my lip and watched the door, he'd be home in an hour at the most and I was already tingling from head to foot. He'd been on a mission for our Master and he'd been gone a whole week, the longest we'd ever been apart and Gods I'd missed him, I'd missed him holding me, and his lips on my neck, I missed him trying to make me laugh when I was upset, I missed him washing my back when I was in the tub, the little things I missed the most. I never had been one to like my own company.

I jumped slightly at the sound of tapping on the window, I groaned and cursed aloud as I slid off the bed and pulled open the curtains. The owl looked at me and I looked at it, it titled it's head and tapped again, I groaned louder, Cissy's owl. I considered ignoring it and pretending I never saw the bird, no, I couldn't something may be wrong with Draco. With a sigh I pulled on my window and let the grey owl in, it landed on the bed with a hoot and held out it's leg for me to take the letter. I took it with a frown and read it, my brow furrowing.

I stamped my foot like an angry child as I read my sisters letter, she and Lucius had to go away till tomorrow and she needed me to babysit my nine month old nephew till tomorrow evening. I growled as I scrunched the letter up in my hand, I owed her a favor and I couldn't say no to this. Of all the bad timing she could choose, it had to be now!

The owl hooted, wanting payment from me. I tossed the letter to the floor and gripped the bird around it's middle, it squawked in protest at my manhandling, I didn't care. In one swift movement, I tossed it out the window and slammed it closed. Damn it all! Picking up my wand I waved it and the candles went out, I was fuming. I grabbed my black lace and velvet dress off the back of the chair, if I'd been thinking clearly I would never have worn that dress to baby sit my nephew with his sticky hands. But I was in such a temper I wasn't thinking at all.

I laced up the ribbons on the side and scribbled a note to Rodolphus telling him to meet my at Malfoy Manor when he got home. If we couldn't have our reunion here, we'd have it there. I'd left the corset on under my dress. I didn't bother with shoes, and with a loud pop I Dissaparated.

I mumbled and grumbled as I apparated into the grounds of my sisters Manor, stomping up the stone steps to the front door and pushing it open, Cissy and Lucius where already half way out the door. I didn't speak to her, my death glare was enough to let her know I wasn't happy. She was talking to me but I wasn't listening to her, I waved my hand as I passed her and was greeted by a baby Draco laying on his back in the hall way with his foot in his mouth. I melted as he smiled up at me and held out his arms for me to pick him up.

"Hello my Dragon, come to your Aunt Bella."

I cooed to him as I bent to pick him up, placing sloppy wet kisses all over his face, he laughed and shrieked as he wiggled in my arms, behind me my sister was still talking, I caught the words teething and biting. I rolled my eyes, he's a baby not a hippogriff.

"Yeah, yeah, Cissy just go before I change my freaking mind. It's not the first time I've looked after him you know."

I watched her pull on a pair of green silk long gloves, she looked beautiful, where ever she and Lucius were going, she'd be the most beautiful there. She fussed for a few more minutes before Lucius literally pulled her out the door.

I sighed and walked into the parlor, placing Draco down on the rug with his blocks, chatting to him as I sat on the floor and picked up a book left on the arm of Cissy's chair, I glanced at the front and rolled my eyes, Advanced Potions. I flicked through it and started to read, looking up now and then at Draco as he built and destroyed block towers, the word Cwucioooo, being muttered at the offending blocks. I grinned proudly, that's my boy. It had been a proud moment when I'd taught him Crucio.

An hour passed by, I read, Draco Cwucioooo'd his blocks, all the while I chatted and cooed to him, I loved my nephew, I wanted my own babies. Rod and I had planned on a huge family, lots of sons to carry on the Lestrange name, but the Dark Lord had forbid us from starting our family yet. He'd told us we had to wait a few years, that I was needed and being pregnant wouldn't do in the field. He was right of course, I'd be an easy target for Aurors and the Order, but that didn't mean I didn't want to have my own babies. That had been two years ago our Master had told us to wait, we were still waiting.

I looked up as Draco started to make noises at me, pointing to my chest and mumbling something. I scooted over to him and grabbed him under his arms, dragging him onto my lap and looking down at him.

"What's the matter, Dragon, hmm?"

He tugged at my dress, grizzling and mumbling as he wiggled in my lap. I gently pulled his drool covered hands away and lifted his chin with my finger, his little cheek ruby red from the teething.

"Aww, my sweetie, are your nasty teeth hurting you. Here, let Auntie Bella have a feel."

I eased my finger into his mouth and rubbed gently along his gums, the little lumps under my finger tips felt hard and I yelped in pain as he bite down. Drool oozed over my fingers as I pulled away and made a face, rubbing the wetness on my dress.

"Thank you for that, dearie."

He tugged on my dress again and started to cry, I finally clicked on, he was hungry. My eyebrow shot up, oh dear. I held him to me and stood up, his chubby hand yanked harder at my dress.

"Dwacoooo, eats. . . Pwease." He squeaked at me as I made my way to the kitchen with him in my arms.

He was wriggling like something possessed, loud screeches and screams leaving his lips, his eyes squeezed shut and his face screwed up in temper. He screamed louder and wiggled harder and I cursed as I almost dropped him.

"Draco, stop it. . . Stop bloody wiggling, boy!"

I yelped and swore under my breath as my bare foot kicked a toy left on the floor as I entered the kitchen, Gods this place was a death trap! With a struggle and a few threats, I managed to get the wiggling, screaming Draco into his high chair, strapping him in firmly. I tried to pull away but his hands had clamped down onto the top of my dress, the low neck line was tugged and he managed to some how pull down my dress and my corset down, exposing my breast.

I took his hands and as gently as possible pulled them away, he wanted me to feed him, problem was I had no milk in there.

"You know, if you where a grown man, I'd be calling rape about now."

I untangled myself away from his hands, pulling my dress back up and shaking my head as he screeched again, louder this time.

"Dwacooo eats. . . Wape and eat, wape and eat, Awntie Bwlla."

I stared at him in horror, did he just say Rape! Oh my gods no! Cissy would kill me, she'd not spoken to me for two days when he picked up on the word Twat a few weeks ago and had so rightly said it while pointing at his father. Rod and I had almost died laughing.

I shook my head and hushed him, taking his drool covered hand and smiling my sweetest smile at him. I tapped his nose with my finger and lent over to met his eyes.

"Now, Draco, listen to me, you must not say that word. Mumma will be upset and she'll kick Aunt Bella's arse, so, don't say it okay?"

He grinned at me and nodded, putting his finger to his lips and making a shhh noise. I copied him and nodded too.

"Wape. . .Wape, wape. . . awse, awse wape. . ."

I cringed as he began to sing the words arse rape, oh gods why was this happening to me! He sang louder and laughed as he did so, thinking his new words to be clever. He chanted them over and over and the more I hushed him, the louder he sang them.

"Oh my bloody fuck, Draco stop singing those words."

I clamped my hand over my mouth as he grinned again and pointed at me, wiggling in his high chair and clapping to his new song.

"Fwck wape awse, wape fwck awse. . . "

I bounced on the spot in horror and he only sang it louder, this went on for a whole ten minutes, me cringing and trying to hush him, him singing louder and doing a wiggle dance in his chair. Cissy was going to Avada Kadavra me. Thats it my life was over.

He finally stopped as he remembered he was hungry, pointing at my chest again and pointing to his mouth.

"Dwaco eat. . ."

Cissy must have left some milk for him somewhere, I clicked my fingers for Dobby and the elf appeared in front of me, bowing so low to the floor his nose brushed it. I kicked him in the side, I had no time for this.

"Dobby, did Narcissa leave milk for Draco?"

The elf nodded and rubbed his side, looking up at me with terrified eyes.

"Y-y-yes. . . Lady Malfoy left m-milk for Master Draco, i-in the f-f-fridge, Dobby saw, and Dobby knows w-where."

I sighed in relief, sinking into the chair at the kitchen table next to Draco's high chair. I cast a glare at the quivering elf and aimed another kick at him.

"Well, go get it you stupid elf."

"Yes, Madam, Dobby will get the milk for Master Draco, would Madam Lestrange like Dobby to get anything else?"

Draco was screaming louder and I lent forwards to place a kiss to his head, trying my hardest to hush him, his wails were starting to get on my last nerve. A huge mistake. His drool covered hands gripped onto my hair and yanked so hard I yelped in pain, which in turn made the little monster laugh and yank again. I lifted my hands and tried to untangle his from my curls, doing more damage than good when he tangled them in more. All the while the elf stood there watching and trembling.

"Draco, be a good boy now. . .Let Auntie Bella's hair go, damn it, you little monster let go!"

I yelped again, tugging my hair from his hands. I stood and rubbed my aching head, the little demon had strands of hair in his chubby fists and was laughing like he was possessed, his hysterical laughter did nothing to sooth my temper. I couldn't take it out on him, so Dobby would have to do. I slapped the elf around the head and shoved him so hard he fell over, this making Draco laugh louder and point with a hair filled fist.

"Go get the fucking milk, elf! Now!"

I aimed a kick at him but he moved before I could get him, scampering off to follow my orders. Draco was singing again and I groaned and covered my ears as I heard what he was saying.

"Mwlk, like wif monswer fwuck, awse wape wif monswer mwlk. Aunwie Bwlla likes monswer awse?"

I stared at him and lowered my hands, it was official, Cissy was going to kill me. In the short time I'd been here, looking after my nephew, I managed to teach him how to ask someone if they liked monster arse and also that monsters like arse rape with milk. Wonderful. I really did suck at this whole mother thing, maybe it was a good idea that the Dark Lord had forbid Rodolphus and I having children. The thought of how bad I really was at this made a stab of sadness go through me, maybe I just wasn't meant to be a mother.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Dobby running back to me with a baby bottle in his hand, he handed it to me and cowered backwards, waiting for me to kick him.

"Would Madam Lestrange like Dobby to go anything else for Master Draco or Madam Lestrange?"

I dismissed him with a wave of my hand and placed the warm bottle on the table. Draco was still singing and clapping his new words as I unstrapped him, his hands tugging at my dress again.

"Dwaco eats. . . NOW!"

He wiggled in my arms and I almost dropped him, I cursed under my breath and held him tighter, dropping down onto the chair and grabbing the bottle I literally shoved the teat in his mouth. Instant silence. I looked down at him in my lap a soft sigh of relief leaving my lips.

It was over to soon, he pushed the bottle away and dribbled milk all over my dress. Lovely. All that and he didn't want it anyway. He was grizzling and wiggling on my lap, his fist in his mouth and his eyes half closed, he was tried. Thank Merlin.

I stood and sat him on my hip, wiping his mouth with his bib and taking the thing off him, tossing it onto the table. He wiggled and squirmed like a bag of cats in my arms, screeching and screaming just for the fun of it. I struggled to hold onto him as I walked from the kitchen, trying to stop myself from just leaving him here and walking out. Where was Rodolphus? He should have been here by now. The bastard had probably seen my note and was now sitting in our home reading the Prophet and drinking wine. I'd kill him tomorrow.

I yelped as I stood with my bare feet on the toy by the kitchen door, the one I'd tripped on on my way in. I kicked it in temper, losing my balance and somehow falling into the wall Draco first. There was a bump where his head hit the corner of the door frame and then a wail of pain. I righted myself and held him to me, hushing him as he started to cry. Oh my gods, there was blood, his head was bleeding.

"It's okay, it's okay. . .Let me see, Dragon. Oh, it's just a little bump. . . " I said with false happiness, there was a gash in his head and blood was running from it, coating his white blonde hair.

I tried to keep the panic out of my voice as I hurried into the Parlor where I'd left my wand, hushing him and holding him to my chest. He was wailing, his little hands gripping my dress and his face pressed into my chest. I sat down on the sofa and picked up my wand from the coffee table, with a few muttered words and a cleaning spell, it was like nothing happened. The wound was gone and the blood was vanished, but he kept wailing for his Mummy. I bounced him slightly on my lap, rubbing his back softly and kissing his blonde hair.

"Come on my Dragon, Death Eaters don't cry, no. . . We don't cry, not ever."

I cooed to him softly and he turned his tear stained face up to me, sniffling sadly as he shook his head.

"No Cwy, Dwaco no cwy."

I watched him as he forced himself to stop crying, a smile lifted my lips and he copied me, all snot and tears and gums. I laughed and wiped his face with Cissy's 300 Gallion throw from the back of the sofa. He rested his head back on my chest and sighed, his eyes closing as he drifted into sleep in my arms.

"Dwaco woves you."

He murmured the words just before he fell asleep. I smiled and rested my cheek on top of his head.

"I love you too, my Dragon."

Maybe I wasn't so bad at this after all.


End file.
